Honest moment: I struggle to keep my dates with Jesus. I really don’t understand why I can seem to make time for everyone else requesting of me but the One who keeps my lungs inhaling and exhaling - the One who keeps my heart beating in perfect rhythm gets the shaft. So I have to stop for a minute and examine this pattern asking myself the hard questions: Do I really love Jesus as much as I claim to? Do I really make Him my top priority? Does the running pace of my life call louder in its appeal than the gentle stroll of a quiet time? Am I addicted to the instant gratification this world shoves in my face? Does God’s slow and steady sound like drudgery? When it all comes down, is Jesus enough in my extravagantly excessive existence? The relevance and ridiculousness of that last question is not lost on me. It is where I sit.
I remember hearing a story of a family hosting Corrie Ten Boom on one of her visits to a church later in her ministry. The storyteller recalled being a young child at a table eating breakfast with Corrie. He showed her something he had drawn and she said, “Oh Jesus, look at that, isn’t it amazing? This boy is such an artist." He said she spoke to Jesus as if He were right beside her at all times. I am fascinated by this dynamic of her relationship with Jesus and also so jealous. Corrie’s story is well documented and I would never desire to trade mine for hers which reveals the complicated layers my line of self-questioning has uncovered. What is the cost of that kind of connection? This unknown, I believe, is the root of my inability to ask for more of Him - fear of the cost. If I get too close, will He ask more of me than I am willing to give?
But if you were to ask my single greatest heart desire, it would be that Jesus and I would have that kind of crazy deep connection. So what does this mean for me? My flesh is utterly settled with the ordinary but my Spirit is discontentedly groaning for more. I have heard it said that you have as much of God as you want. This could not be a more accurate statement. It is a choice. The reality is, I have the Creator of the universe asking for my attention. MY ATTENTION? Am I that important? The One who can fulfill every desire of my heart is waiting on ME. It blows my mind! He wants to speak with me. He wants to spend time with me. He wants to lavish His affection on me. He wants me to want Him. Just typing out those words fills my eyes with hot tears. I can’t even! If we really understood how passionately He longs for us, we would run to meet Him. If we could only grasp how tenderly He loves us, we would spend every waking moment basking in His nearness. Yes, it will cost something but I am willing to take the risk because the pay off promised cannot be compared. I want Jesus more than anything else because He is the love of my life. I adore Him.
About Teresa Lickliter
Teresa and her husband, Jason, live in the DFW area, and have four kids. Teresa is a wife, mom, and is the head teacher at Warrior Academy (where she home schools her four children). She has a heart for worshipping the Lord and is on the worship team at her local church. Teresa is a woman of many talents. Once you think you have her "pegged" she surprises you with a new skill set or story. Teresa humbly and gracefully follows the Lord's call. She is raw, authentic, passionate, and can plan the the best parties. You can follow her blogging journey here.